daisysparrow | LJIDW-LPF Week 3 Tiebreaker -- Open Topic (Reply)

Dear Baby

Where are you?

I miss you already. I wish you were here.

I wish you were here in my arms -- or even in my belly -- wriggling and giggling and making yourself known.

I can see you. I think. I can sort of picture your face.

But you're so very far away.

Dear Baby, where are you?

More to the point, where's your Daddy?

Not even on the horizon, and that's the point. If I could see him, maybe you'd be here by next summer. The Christmas after that. Or the next Olympic games.

You'd be here in time to play with your cousins whilst they're still young. Soon they'll be old enough to babysit you. Five or six years, and the oldest could plausibly be mistaken for your parent.

And I don't know if I have five or six years. I'm already in my mid-thirties. Only entitled to IVF for about a year and three quarters, and as I said, that depends on your having a Daddy too.

And not all women have a baby. I do know that. But some of the others have a purpose. Surgeons, writers, missionaries, business owners, lawyers. Volunteers, political activists, carers. For some, motherhood is incidental to why they're here -- or at least, it seems that way.

I envy them. Because I'm not like that. I don't know where I'm heading, if not to you. I can't see why any of it even matters.

Not that I want to put all of my issues on to you. They're not yours to carry, Baby.

But I want to see you. I want you to be here.

I miss you already.

Love, Mama (maybe)

PS. If you see him, please say hello to Daddy for me, and send him my way soon :-) Love you xx